I haven't been here in a while but I've got a good excuse; I even brought a note from my mom.
The last two weekends, my wife and I have been to see her octogenarian parents. Dad had quintuple bypass heart surgery last January, a few days after my younger daughter married. And two weeks ago, while in the role of primary care giver, Mom fell and broke her hip. I do most of my writing for the blog on the weekends, but not these last two.
This couple finds themselves in a position most folks their age eventually reach. Their spirits are strong, but their bodies, the systems, bones, muscles, and minds too, are slowly fading. One day, each will take a turn joining the rest, those who have gone before them, gone the way of all things.
But there's something different about these two. And it's not just their depression-baby status. Together, they raised five children who are collectively responsible for eleven grandchildren and five great grands. However, they didn't merely procreate. Dad came home from WWII, finished an agriculture degree, married Mom, finished a seminary degree, and then spent the next 37 years in student ministry at the University of Arkansas. Mom gave the marital support, without which, the work would not have survived. And that's not all; after her children were in school, Mom parlayed her sociology degree from Auburn into a twenty-year elementary teaching career, long before alternate licensure was conceived. And all this while they kept close ties to their Alabama-based families on both sides, maintained leadership positions at First Baptist Church, served their community, nursed their neighbors, and loved their God.
And through it all, they held onto a fierce love for each other. Now, approaching their 62nd wedding anniversary, they are as devoted as ever. On the day after her hip surgery, when faced with the realization that she could no longer be primary care-giver for Dad, Mom said, "Well, I'm just glad I was able to take care of him as long as I did." And facing the same realization, Dad said, "Oh, my main concern is for her. If I have to go into a nursing home, I will."
These past two weekends, I've driven away from this environment, from these two people and the home they've created back to my home. I've returned each week to my classroom with them, their situation, and their character on my mind and my heart. I've looked into the faces of my students while they wondered about functions, metaphors, vectors, and governments and ached for them, for so much more for them than academia.
Our world needs educated people, innovative leaders, visionaries. But in my world, in the pond where I swim, I never wonder about how much education the other fish have aquired. I think in qualitative terms about contribution, grace, responsibility, goodness, honesty, kindness, integrity, gentleness, and mercy. I've talked before about character, about the realization that students become neighbors and frankly, I don't care about the average ACT score on my block.
But I really care about the important things. And somehow I've got to squeeze those lessons into my interactions with students.
Everyday.
Picture Credit: http://current.com/items/89979438_dont-believe-in-true-love-read-this-story-eternal-love-is-possible.htm
The last two weekends, my wife and I have been to see her octogenarian parents. Dad had quintuple bypass heart surgery last January, a few days after my younger daughter married. And two weeks ago, while in the role of primary care giver, Mom fell and broke her hip. I do most of my writing for the blog on the weekends, but not these last two.
This couple finds themselves in a position most folks their age eventually reach. Their spirits are strong, but their bodies, the systems, bones, muscles, and minds too, are slowly fading. One day, each will take a turn joining the rest, those who have gone before them, gone the way of all things.
But there's something different about these two. And it's not just their depression-baby status. Together, they raised five children who are collectively responsible for eleven grandchildren and five great grands. However, they didn't merely procreate. Dad came home from WWII, finished an agriculture degree, married Mom, finished a seminary degree, and then spent the next 37 years in student ministry at the University of Arkansas. Mom gave the marital support, without which, the work would not have survived. And that's not all; after her children were in school, Mom parlayed her sociology degree from Auburn into a twenty-year elementary teaching career, long before alternate licensure was conceived. And all this while they kept close ties to their Alabama-based families on both sides, maintained leadership positions at First Baptist Church, served their community, nursed their neighbors, and loved their God.
And through it all, they held onto a fierce love for each other. Now, approaching their 62nd wedding anniversary, they are as devoted as ever. On the day after her hip surgery, when faced with the realization that she could no longer be primary care-giver for Dad, Mom said, "Well, I'm just glad I was able to take care of him as long as I did." And facing the same realization, Dad said, "Oh, my main concern is for her. If I have to go into a nursing home, I will."
These past two weekends, I've driven away from this environment, from these two people and the home they've created back to my home. I've returned each week to my classroom with them, their situation, and their character on my mind and my heart. I've looked into the faces of my students while they wondered about functions, metaphors, vectors, and governments and ached for them, for so much more for them than academia.
Our world needs educated people, innovative leaders, visionaries. But in my world, in the pond where I swim, I never wonder about how much education the other fish have aquired. I think in qualitative terms about contribution, grace, responsibility, goodness, honesty, kindness, integrity, gentleness, and mercy. I've talked before about character, about the realization that students become neighbors and frankly, I don't care about the average ACT score on my block.
But I really care about the important things. And somehow I've got to squeeze those lessons into my interactions with students.
Everyday.
Picture Credit: http://current.com/items/89979438_dont-believe-in-true-love-read-this-story-eternal-love-is-possible.htm
4 comments:
What an interesting story of two lives intertwined and still full of love. I wish fast healing for your mother-in-law and best wishes for you and your wife as you work on finding a place where they can convalesce together.
Lovely. Just lovely.
I could just feel the love they have for each other throught your story. It seems like a story to share with many students because many don't have these kind of role models in their world. Maybe it would be fun to interview them for your class about their life, their struggles, and their love for each other. I am always in awe when I hear of couples like this and hope my husband and I will someday be like them! Thanks for sharing this.
Monda, Kathryn, and LH,
Thanks so much for your comments. Mom is doing better and they've found a place to stay together when mom gets out of rehab.
What a joy it is get to write. I wept for the first time since this all began once I'd written this piece.
Thanks for reading.
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